But what I really want to do is direct a movie. Why? I think it is because I feel very passionate about the types of ideas that films convey. More so than the concepts conveyed in astrophysical journals. In the process of film making there is an amazing sense of creation, of bringing to life a world that would never have existed otherwise, and this captivates my imagination. Film is a vehicle of expression that I desperately want to become fluent in.
The biggest joy I receive from my present work (astrophysics research) is career advancement and giving talks on my work. However, I do find working with certain scientists (e.g., my phd advisor David Arnett) incredibly inspiring, because they share a certain pleasure in discovery. I really need to have this type of colleague in order to do good research. Presently, I am not finding this type of stimulation at the U.Chicago where I am working. I find some of the projects I work on visually stimulating, however. Here is a visualization of a supernova model from the research group that I am working with.
"Man can will nothing unless he has first understood that he must count on no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth." -Sartre
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